Lenore and Gilead

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Photo:A.M. Moscoso
Photo:A.M. Moscoso

” Shrunken”

by a.m. moscoso

” That’s  a fake ” Tourist Number 1 said to Tourist Number 2 as I leaned in and took my picture of the Shrunken Torso.

I stepped on Tourist Number 1’s foot as I tried to get in for a shot and I turned around and said without meaning it, ” Sorry about that.”

” Yeah. Obviously it’s a fake.”

I snapped my picture and decided to take a safety shot when Tourist #2 wondered how they made the fake Torso.


I’ve been visiting the Shrunken Torso and the Shrunken Heads for almost all of my life and I’m 44 now. So that means I’ve known the Torso longer then most of my friends. I like the Shrunken Torso, I used to have nightmares about it and for years I wouldn’t take pictures of it because I thought it was cursed.

The Shrunken Torso is  a wicked little thing and I adore it.

So I guess that’s why I said, ” Yeah it’s a fake. But it’s cool looking don’t you think?”

They agreed.

” But you know, it’s not the Torso that’s the real curiosity. I mean, in itself it’s not the real story.”

” Oh? So what’s the real story? ” Tourist #1 asked.

You bonehead, I thought to myself.

” Well, it was this thing that this Doctor bought when she was down in South America trying to learn about Homeopathic Medicine, which of course is pretty much all they do in the Jungles you know. So like it was like back in the 1920’s and back then well I guess you know how the medical field was back then.”

They didn’t want to admitt they didn’t know so I enlightened them.

Sort of.

 “Her name was Doctor Hazzard and she used to believe that you could cure people by bloodletting and blistering but she was also believed you could cure any disease by Purging the body of toxins and she did that by using laxatives and lots of them.”

” That’s sick.”

” That was science. Anyway Doctor Hazzard finally got around to this technique- she came up with this new method to rid the body of things like cancer and cravings for alcohol and viruses.

” So what did she do?”

” She put her patients on a strict diet.”

“Seriously That was it?”

” Yep.”

” How did it work?”

” She starved the diseases by starving the body.”

” You mean…”

“I mean, she starved her patients to death. Dozens of them. She was Washington State’s one and only female serial killer.”

” You’re kidding. “

” I’m not laughing her, am I. Regardless, that thing…” I said pointing to the Torso ” was hers. I mean it’s a fake. But you know, it was her’s. And it was after her trip that she opened her clinic out in Kitsap”

” No way, that thing was not hers.”

“Well. It could never have belonged to anyone else. I mean think about it.”

And I am I’ll be willing to bet every time they take a bite of food they will.


You can read about the Real Doctor Doctor Linda Hazzard HERE.

She didn’t own Shrunken Heads and Torsos.

That was my idea- but hey, it’s a good one.

Dr Linda Hazzard

Dr Linda Hazzard


Written by Anita Marie

June 18, 2009 at 2:02 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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